Monday, June 11, 2007

How to reduce violent alcohol related crime?

Is this what your council does in partnership with the police to produce a campaign to help reduce violent crime? Chief Inspector's and above read on....

Increase PCSO and Specials numbers at peak times. Forget that Specials have a life outside of giving their time freely. Then attend a domestic at the Special’s house and arrest them because their wife went mardy about all the hours they work and there was a breach of the peace.

Sell "think about your drink" wristbands at pubs and clubs so that as people wear them they can remind themselves to drink more. Then with the money you get employ one more PCSO.

Give a presentation to sixth forms on the impact of alcohol and drugs. Take samples of cannabis and coke and hand them out freely. (Consider detection's for unlawful possession once they start using the drugs). Forget the colleges, they don’t do drugs there.

Promote a "hold your drink till you finish" campaign to raise awareness about spiking at Christmas. Spiking only occurs at Christmas.

Send special ASB Christmas cards to noisy neighbours to remind them of their responsibility to others, nudging them to do a little bit more noise, thereby terrifying their elderly victims further, and enabling you to get a report of 2+harassment and another detection.

Always think, "Am I going to get promoted because of these ideas?" If the answer is yes, then carry on with more silly ideas, presentations and posters.


The Thin Blue Line said...

It's interesting that none of your ideas involve putting warranted Police officers out on the ground where people can see them and they can get stuck in where they're needed most!
Clearly you're not management material!!!
Top blog, I've linked in to you.

Twining says: said...

Thin blue line - Are you anything like the Inspector in the programme? I picked up these ideas from a local paper, then I just went into Pink Panther mode.

I began to get sarcastic! I could not help myself. So much money is wasted on this poster and that campaign, etc. that these partnerships forget one thing, "sworn officer's."

I have been reading your blog and am rather impressed. I guess I say it as I see it, doesn't mean I am liked much by management; hated more like.

The Thin Blue Line said...

I keep upsetting management too. But I do it with a cheeky grin that seems to confound them. They like that.

Roses said...

twining ~ you forgot about doing it in a PowerPoint presentation where you get more points for animation, sounds and colour handouts (I used to work for local government before I became a scummy art student)

Twining says: said...

Art student is cool! When I train I just talk and talk and talk! About anything and everything!